i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize