I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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