shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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