Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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