Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize