): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize