his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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