Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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