i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm getting married
To pizza
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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