Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize