do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize