I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize