well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
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Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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