you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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