Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
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I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
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I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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