I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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