you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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