I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize