It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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