Dual....:-)
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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