i was born a porn star she said
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize