"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We need to get me chipped asap
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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