someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize