So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The uberlube is also flammable
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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