I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize