I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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