Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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