But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
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Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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