I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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