I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize