First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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