And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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