Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize