Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you had me at cake vodka
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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