Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
...so i touched it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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