Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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