sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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