i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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