I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize