Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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