yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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