You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize