just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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