I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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