hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
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the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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