i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Someone came in the potted fern
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize