Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize