Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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