Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize