Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
try to milk me bitch
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